Being a parent is wonderfully awesome and wonderfully exhausting at the same time.
When children come into the world looking like this
the thoughts of eventual fighting, teasing and naughtiness are far, far away.
But then they grow up and the afore mentioned things are daily realities.
I mentioned in
this post how I was frustrated with being grumpy all of the time. It's something that I've been working on for quite a while now. And while I am NOWHERE near perfect, I have made progress. Here are some of the things that have helped me.
One day several months ago I was reading the upcoming lesson for Relief Society
here. There were several things that the prophet
Lorenzo Snow mentioned that really touched me.
Do not expect to become perfect at once. If you do, you will be disappointed. Be better today than you were yesterday, and be better tomorrow than you are today. The temptations that perhaps partially overcome us today, let them not overcome us so far tomorrow. Thus continue to be a little better day by day; and do not let your life wear away without accomplishing good to others as well as to ourselves.
I really liked that. It's not a new concept, but it hit me just when I needed it to. I knew I could be better a little bit at a time and start over each day.
I also like this part:
If the husband can live with his wife one day without quarrelling or without treating anyone unkindly or without grieving the Spirit of God in any way, that is well so far; he is so far perfect. Then let him try to be the same the next day. But supposing he should fail in this his next day’s attempt, that is no reason why he should not succeed in doing so the third day. …
Learning to be a patient mom and wife is a life-long pursuit, but thankfully there are brand new days every. single. day.
Another time I came across
this article in the April 2012 Ensign by Elder David A. Bednar. It is SO awesome and I highly recommend reading the whole article. Here are some highlights that really stuck out to me.
The grand objective of the Savior’s gospel was summarized succinctly by President David O. McKay (1873–1970): “The purpose of the gospel is … to make bad men good and good men better, and to change human nature.”1 Thus, the journey of mortality is to progress from bad to good to better and to experience the mighty change of heart—to have our fallen natures changed (see Mosiah 5:2).
I like this because I am a "good [woman]" who wants to be better.
Most of us clearly understand that the Atonement is for sinners. I am not so sure, however, that we know and understand that the Atonement is also for saints—for good men and women who are obedient, worthy, and conscientious and who are striving to become better and serve more faithfully. We may mistakenly believe we must make the journey from good to better and become a saint all by ourselves, through sheer grit, willpower, and discipline, and with our obviously limited capacities.
I could relate to this because I was trying to be a better, more patient parent "through sheer grit" and it wasn't working. I was failing miserably on my own.
I love what Elder Bednar teaches about Christ's grace.
In the Bible Dictionary we learn that the word grace frequently is used in the scriptures to connote enabling power:
“[Grace is] a word that occurs frequently in the New Testament, especially in the writings of Paul. The main idea of the word is divine means of help or strength, given through the bounteous mercy and love of Jesus Christ.
“It is through the grace of the Lord Jesus, made possible by his atoning sacrifice, that mankind will be raised in immortality, every person receiving his body from the grave in a condition of everlasting life. It is likewise through the grace of the Lord that individuals, through faith in the atonement of Jesus Christ and repentance of their sins, receive strength and assistance to do good works that they otherwise would not be able to maintain if left to their own means. This grace is an enabling power that allows men and women to lay hold on eternal life and exaltation after they have expended their own best efforts."
I started praying for this "enabling power" every single day. I could see that I did indeed "receive strength and assistance" to be more patient. I knew that the Atonement of Jesus Christ would help me be a better person, but it wasn't until I actually prayed specifically for His enabling power that I began to see any improvement.
Besides BEING a better person, and therefore a better parent, I've also been DOING better parenting. I'd like to share 3 books that have been helpful. I won't go into great detail with any of them, but someone else might find these helpful too.
The most powerful book that has helped me is
The Book of Mormon. I love this promise
:
"I feel certain that if, in our homes, parents will read from the Book of Mormon prayerfully and regularly, both by themselves and with their children, the spirit of that great book will come to permeate our homes and all who dwell therein. The spirit of reverence will increase; mutual respect and consideration for each other will grow. The spirit of contention will depart. Parents will counsel their children in greater love and wisdom. Children will be more responsive and submissive to the counsel of their parents. Righteousness will increase. Faith, hope, and charity—the pure love of Christ—will abound in our homes and lives, bringing in their wake peace, joy, and happiness."
by President Marion G. Romney in the 1980 April General Conference
I have made a conscious effort to read the scriptures 30 minutes every day, even if that means getting up at 6:00 in the morning to make it happen or taking some of my "precious time" during the day to read and study. My days invariably are better when my spirit is filled and happy.
I'm still a "patient Mommy" work in progress, but I'm SO grateful for that progress and for the Savior's grace that makes it possible.
